Hi Cage,
I know your frustration. I would suggest baby steps. I've been in many bands over many years, mainly vox and or bass. The majority of my friends are musicians.
On your down time, write some tunes and re awaken your chops. Figure out what's your style. Record. Once that's done post somewhere you can get honest feed back. If you have a really good critial ear, start a page on Myspace, Youtube, and you can also post your music on Itunes (and make money) As suggested by another poster, do open mic at coffee houses and do some gigs, ways to meet a musical community of friends.
These days you can record yourself if you don't have the money, and come up with some pretty decent sound.
I wouldn't give up your day job just yet. With this economy even waiters are not making as much as a few years ago, unless you can get a job somewhere that's booming. Some of those part time jobs can be just as exhausting.
An ol Hollywood joke: What's a Hollywood musican without a girlfriend? Homeless.
If you can find a way to supplement your income, cover your bills and your happy with what you've created musically, go for it.
FYI, there are many who are doing what they want and still going through something or other with their passions. Life can be a challenge, stay clean/no drugs, know you're in the company of many. You're not alone